Monday, January 7, 2013

Falling off cloud 9

Life is so hunky dory sometimes that we forget there are still the things out there that turn your life upside down.

Today I'm having a really crappy today.
It started with sleeping in that bit later than normal, I was too warm and woke up feeling groggy. I then went to an osteo appointment for my back and they still can't figure out what is going on with it cause the pain keeps changing where it wants to be. But I have also now been advised to make a claim through TAC because they are thinking that my car accident that I had back in March last year is what has caused this. That just makes me feel pathetic & wimpy. There are people out there with much more serious conditions from car accidents than me, so I feel almost wrong by making a claim.. what are your thoughts?
And then the day has just gone down hill from there. Because I'm doing the whole30 I'm obviously having sugar withdrawals and being emotional makes me want sugar even more.

In the past 4 or so years I have been a continual stuff up. I have lost friends & family's trust in me because I have been unreliable, lied, and just gone about some things completely the wrong way. I turned my life around last year, after having a breakdown and not knowing what to do or how to get myself out of the blackhole I had dug myself into I finally took the steps to get help and try and make something out of my life.
But in doing all that, I still will never have the trust from the people I want and need it from the most. I might one day be able to show them that I am capable of being trustworthy and reliable, but it will have to come with time. It just sucks because it always comes back to bite you in the ass and remind you of the mistakes you have made over the years.

Honestly, I don't even know what to write today, I am in such a negative place that I really just want to curl up into a ball and sob. Pathetic isn't it?!

Till next time
Taz x

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