My whole30 experience - Day 16

Wellllllll it's been a little over 2 weeks now and I'm still going. It's been a battle at times, but worth it on so many levels.

My energy levels have increased dramatically, my sleeping has improved and my bloating has gone down. Yay!
Sleeping has always been an issue for me, for as long as I can remember anyway. And now I'm going to bed by 9:30pm every night, and waking up only once or twice throughout the night to go to the bathroom and waking up at about 6:30-7am every morning feeling fresh as a daisy. It's new to me, and it's a great feeling!

My meals have been pretty good, I'm not yet bored so that's always a positive.


On a negative though; I've had an absolutely shit day today. It's mainly because of money. Money. Money. F*cking money! It's the maker and the breaker of the world. It can really ruin lives. The stress it puts on you is just, just, shit. Agreed?
I've never been a rich person, I grew up with parents that struggled, and then separated so then they struggled even more, but I didn't have a miserable poor life either. There was always food on the table, I always got to do the things I wanted with my horses, which anyone that knows what it's like to have horses, they are not a cheap animal to have or hobby to have. Especially if you compete, and if you have the type of horses we had/have. Anyway, I've gone off track. What I was saying was, I've never been rich, but I am good at making money but also very good at spending it. Probably a bit too good, if you ask my bank account. But because I am starting uni this year, I'm not going to be able to earn a full time wage with all the perks of sick and annual leave anymore- what the hell am I going to do?! I haven't even started uni yet, am working part time as much as possible, but am seriously struggling. Definitely a lot more going out than there is coming in.. and that's because of my shopping addiction. Or rather, food shopping addiction now.This whole30 isn't cheap which sucks. I really have to control what I'm buying. The only advantage is that if you make something big, you can eat it for leftovers. Snaps!

Ok, I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve by writing this blog, but I really just like to do it because it clears my mind. Would love to know how to get more followers if people like it.. so if anyone wants to share some info, please feel free to send it on =)


Anyway, that's all for now.

Till next time,
Taz x

Falling off cloud 9

Life is so hunky dory sometimes that we forget there are still the things out there that turn your life upside down.

Today I'm having a really crappy today.
It started with sleeping in that bit later than normal, I was too warm and woke up feeling groggy. I then went to an osteo appointment for my back and they still can't figure out what is going on with it cause the pain keeps changing where it wants to be. But I have also now been advised to make a claim through TAC because they are thinking that my car accident that I had back in March last year is what has caused this. That just makes me feel pathetic & wimpy. There are people out there with much more serious conditions from car accidents than me, so I feel almost wrong by making a claim.. what are your thoughts?
And then the day has just gone down hill from there. Because I'm doing the whole30 I'm obviously having sugar withdrawals and being emotional makes me want sugar even more.

In the past 4 or so years I have been a continual stuff up. I have lost friends & family's trust in me because I have been unreliable, lied, and just gone about some things completely the wrong way. I turned my life around last year, after having a breakdown and not knowing what to do or how to get myself out of the blackhole I had dug myself into I finally took the steps to get help and try and make something out of my life.
But in doing all that, I still will never have the trust from the people I want and need it from the most. I might one day be able to show them that I am capable of being trustworthy and reliable, but it will have to come with time. It just sucks because it always comes back to bite you in the ass and remind you of the mistakes you have made over the years.

Honestly, I don't even know what to write today, I am in such a negative place that I really just want to curl up into a ball and sob. Pathetic isn't it?!

Till next time
Taz x

Meal ideas & Recipes

It's a struggle to try and work out new meal ideas so that you don't keep repeating the same meals, as seen with my first few days of breakfasts.

So today I'm searching meals and collating a "recipe book" with everything I find appealing.
Also any websites I think have great insights, stories and ideas.

Feel free to give some input if you think it will make the recipes better! =)

Checkout:
hollywouldifshecould.net
Pinterest

Ok, I'm getting really tired and feeling the need to have sugar. hmmmmmm

Gotta go do something.

Later mater,
Taz x

My whole30 experience - Day 3

Well I've made it to day 3... I'm feeling good. Well today I am. Last night I had a terrrrrrrrrrible night. Was massively bloated and couldn't sleep. No idea why! Gosh! But today I'm feeling a bit better. Yay! =)

I think I'm really starting to miss sugar. Got a bit cranky today, so I'm assuming that's what is causing it =P

Ok, so the meals I've had:

Day 2
Breakfast: 2 eggs, yolk mixed into whites, 2 rashers bacon, sauteed spinach, grilled tomato
Lunch: Leftovers from dinner the night before (Zucchini spaghetti, tomato, carrot, garlic & onion sauce & chicken)
Dinner: Salmon steak, salad - lettuce, cherry tomatoes, avocado, red onion - salt & pepper (cooked by a friend)

Day 3
Breakfast: 2 eggs - yolk mixed into whites; 2 rashers bacon, sauteed spinach, grilled tomato (think it's time to try something new! =P)
Lunch: diced chicken.. very plain & boring.
Dinner: Eye fillet steak, sweet potato wedges, sauteed spinach mixed with crushed garlic.

Can't seem to get my photos to work.. will try another time.

Till next time, Taz x

My Whole30 Experience

Today I started the Whole30 Challenge, if you follow the link below, you'll find all information about it if you're interested.
http://whole9life.com/2012/08/the-whole30-program/ 

I've been wanting to do it for a while as a friend of mine did and she raved about it.

Today my meals consisted of:
Breakfast: Bacon & egg with the yolk mixed into the egg whites (I hate the runniness of the yolk, it makes me feel ill to just look at it).
Lunch: Omelet with tomato, carrot & onion - salt & pepper added
Dinner: Zucchini spaghetti, tomato, carrot, garlic & onion sauce & chicken

Dinner was absolutely delicious!! I've wanted to do zucchini spaghetti for ages, but didn't have the proper peeler, until now! So when I say delicious, it was great, but I think because it was my first try at something like this, I can only get better.

All I can say now is, Day 1 is completed, only 29 days to go!!

Taz x


 

Someone put me to sleep

I'm not thinking about anything, yet I'm thinking about everything. My mind is over active for 3:50am. I would much rather be in a deep slumber; which realistically never happens; but my mind & body just can't shut down.
I went from having a long sleeved top on to a singlet & pj bottoms & now I'm just in a singlet & undies.. My feet are chilly but the rest of me is warm.. Is this affecting why I can't sleep? Or is it that I'm waiting extremely impatiently for a job to get back to me about whether I'm in or not?
I've tried reading, tried listening to my meditation app & tried a boring movie.. Nothing.
To say its frustrating is an understatement.
Gah. Sleep. Come at me.

Peace out, Taz x

I'm in a glass cage of emotion

Having any form of a mental illness is one of the most difficult things to explain. Only those who have been affected by it closely or connected to someone who has can understand. Not even the professionals we pay the big bucks to ever fully comprehend the pain/anger/disappointment we feel within ourselves.

My story goes like this..

I was diagnosed with "severe depression and anxiety" about 7 years ago and have tried many different medications and forms of treatment . I've been on the same medication for the last 3 years (Efexor XR), and although I believe it has been the best one for me, I also believe it has taken away my 'real' personality. The type of personality that is crazy, fun, daring, up and down and all over the shop. But not only do I feel it has taken my personality away, it's come with the side effects, such as sweating (anyone that knows me knows it a running joke that I'm constantly complaining about having "the sweats"), dehydrated, jaw clenching; (which turned into TMJ - lockjaw (yes, laugh all you want, but it was PAINFUL! But thankfully I've had my wisdom teeth out now, which is a whole other story, and that has taken the pain away! YAY!) I know they're just the standard side effects but what I hate most is the feeling that if you slip up and miss your meds for ONE day your body goes into complete withdrawal mode.. and I don't know about you, but for me this entails headaches, shakes, nausea, vomiting, extreme stubbornness towards anything positive and then the roller coaster ride of emotions.. sounds fun doesn't it.. ? Or not.. ! =P

So now.. after 3 years of having not made any real progress I was still wondering what the eff is wrong with me?! My family GP over the years has thought of the possibility of Bipolar Type 2.. which I always thought of person that had the label of Bipolar meant they were crazy, so I was a bit reluctant to ever want to consider that I could have this, but she kept saying there is 2 different types etc. I still don't understand completely but I am now seeing a psychiatrist who is helping me immensely!! I am on mood stabilisers along with a lower dose of my antidepressants and I couldn't be happier. My life is finally starting to come together.
I still have my good days and bad days where I am manic but I can at least say they are a lot more controlled now.

Ideally I don't want to be on ANY medications, but for the time being they are helping me.. going forward I am continuing my dream for happiness, and I believe to do this I have to maintain a healthy lifestyle.. which involves eating healthy and exercising, hopefully by doing this on a regular basis I can eventually come off the medications..

I will keep writing about my ongoing dream for happiness.

Taz x